Getting Started with Homeschooling
Practical Considerations for Parents of School-Aged Children
© Beverley Paine
Index
Homeschool
Australia
Part 8 Connecting With Others
Home schooling is often criticised for its apparent lack of social opportunities for children. Socialisation, the process by which children learn the cultural rules of the society, is best learned in the community.
For young children this community is first of all the home, and gradually expands to include the homes of trusted friends and relatives. As children grow and become more confident and competent, their social world grows to include activities outside of these homes. Often these new activities revolve around specific interests, and usually involve interaction with other children or adults.
Even this takes a narrow view of socialisation. Wherever your children are they are learning about how people socialise, how people relate to one another and have differing attitudes and ideas. Mostly children will learn by quiet observation, until they feel skilled and confident in demonstrating or voicing their own thoughts. Only then do children choose to participate.
This confidence is encouraged by allowing children to regulate the pace of their own social development. ‘Shy’ children will gradually and naturally become assertive when they feel comfortable or have acquired the skills to do so. If you are worried about your children’s social development try allowing them increased opportunities to be in comfortable situations, to practice and consolidate their existing social skills. Look at their overall behaviour, and not just isolated incidents, even if these seem to have greater impact. Prefer to trust your own inner voice rather than that of a close friend, family member, or teacher. And most of all, trust your children.
Taking your cue from your children is the easiest and less stressful method of assisting their social development. It also helps to recognise the many different ways in which children learn social and cultural rules. Books, both fictional and factual, television, films and videos, all offer important social information and models for your children. Children do not need to be in direct and immediate contact with other people in order to develop social skills. Socialising with a range of people is a very important part of social growth, but do not underestimate the effect of other socialising agents.
It is essential to continue to protect your children from harmful images, information and situations wherever possible, and discuss with respect, honesty and openness those you cannot.
Take advantage of all social learning opportunities, whatever they may be. The opportunity to be with other children is only a small facet of children’s social learning, albeit an important one from their point of view.
Networking
Families who choose home schooling often find themselves initially isolated in their communities. Most children are in school and are unavailable during the day for your children to play with. Finding company for yourself is often hard as well. The social isolation for home schooling families is particularly difficult to resolve for rural based families, with distance between compatible home schooling families a major problem in maintaining social relationships.
Regardless of geographic location, many home schooling families will feel isolated at some stage. Home education is a relatively new phenomenon in Australia, and other home schoolers are hard to find, even in suburban areas. Finding families with similar ideas and practices to your own can be more difficult. Many families have to make a deliberate effort to set up, and maintain, supportive social networks.
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Excerpt from Getting Started with Homeschooling, Practical Considerations
© Beverley Paine, 1997
